Love is meant to be cherished, not killed

I want to talk about a breakup or unfulfilled relationship I should say, a pretty painful one. Through this experience I had to question what I valued in love, what was important and I think I’m better for it now. But this lesson cost me a lot because I didn’t understand something fundamental.

Love is meant to be cherished, not killed. See I was in absolutely awful pain over the idea of not being able to have a relationship with that person. I couldn’t really understand what crashed, what went wrong at the time, nowadays it’s clear as day though. I just had so much remaining to learn.

So what did I do to try and curb the pain ? I estimated the reasonable course of action was to kill love. I convinced myself it was the only way out of pain, that it was the course of action the world expected of me to be qualified a good person. And so I did that, I made myself absolutely miserable, told myself awful and painful lies about how I could just be the master of me with enough willpower. This basically created so much pain I contemplated harming myself (never did fortunately) and pushed back my healing process for months.

Maybe you reader already know that but I’m going to say it anyway, you don’t get rid of love. You accept your love, you accept the feelings of the other people and you move from here. Love is limitless and I still cherish the feelings I held, the feelings I hold for every person I ever loved (Lulu if you read that someday, I hope you are doing well). Because I had the chance to only cross the path of amazing peoples that never meant anything wrong to me, there is no reason to murder love, it’s something beautiful and I should never let go. Accepting that made me so much more capable of facing all sorts of trouble in relationships in general.

I feel confident today I can manage whatever life will throw at me and I hope you will too, reader.